the inner conflicts that sunder my wit
the many pains i worn under my skin
spawned into a wonderful gift
a heart — where all my suffering lived
that forces me to find something to give
the type of loving that lifts

one night
i had a talk with my mom that was worth so much
she told me no matter how much i was hurt from love
even if it hurt so much
she knows i’d never return the favor just to hurt those loved
seeing right through me
despite how cold my front
she knows i’d always put love first as i hold my tongue
so proud of how bold i’ve come
so proud of life
the old die young because they live in the moment

despite everything
i could’ve chose resentment
chose repentance
chose dependence
but instead
i chose acceptance
chose intention
chose my sentences
speaking love with nothing else on my breath
let them know i’ve never held onto stress
now learning to not settle for less
now learning to want more for myself
traveling every single road that is left

A. Hymn || my heart is here

 

i’ve proven to myself that i was right about you
yet here i am
pen to pad as i write about you
transient as you fade
i’ve lived a life without you
meanwhile you never truly leave even if i allowed you
it’s not like you to prefer to end things
maybe that’s what the universe intended
maybe that’s how it all plays out
separating the past from present
with many less words to say now

A. Hymn || acceptance