now unveiling feelings that pretend to be
the feelings that can fake
matured to where i’m aware of the energies that can take
more concerned for myself
i have my reservations
setting boundaries to stand by preservation
just to avoid falling victim to love’s precarious seasons
because
love can make you fall for various reasons
that don’t seem apparent in person
love can make you a daring person
love can make you a caring person
love can even make you think you can repair a person
when being there for a person
doesn’t mean everywhere for a person
because being there for yourself
allows you to be anywhere for a person
allows you to be a better pair with a person
as i was once told
love should be fair and full of purpose

A. Hymn || boundaries in love & attachment

i’ve proven to myself that i was right about you
yet here i am
pen to pad as i write about you
transient as you fade
i’ve lived a life without you
meanwhile you never truly leave even if i allowed you
it’s not like you to prefer to end things
maybe that’s what the universe intended
maybe that’s how it all plays out
separating the past from present
with many less words to say now

A. Hymn || acceptance

lightning storms
inner conflicts and fighting wrongs
finding myself caught between right or love
right being everything i know to be fair to me
love being all that i share and my sheer empathy
giving without noticing it empty me
often in front of myself my own biggest enemy

introverted choosing peace than to expend my reserves
rather keep to myself when i observe
that’s why you hardly ever hear me vent my concerns
there’s no destination where complaints get me
so i’m focused on my patience in exchange for complacency

there happens to be so much of this world waiting outside for me
risks for the sake of my growth are waiting outside of me
yet i’m still having difficulties taking a jump
there haven’t been many hands in my life to have guided me
so for every milestone
i’ve celebrated them privately

faded memories of the kid that is me
nothing but holes in my childhood
i try to wear it every now and then but it doesn’t fit me
i’ve come to find out that for as much as people take
it’s the universe that will give me
and it’s the universe that is with me

A. Hymn || 8/28/2016

empty hands
worked hard for everything i have
always forced to face everything i can’t
so whenever i fall and things come crashing down
i make sure to admire the structure
let failure turn you into your deepest lover

i had always been used to comparing myself
now i know what it feels to be aware of myself
prepared with what’s dealt
i am all i own
the only one i call my own
yet sometimes this road seems bleak
i feel like turning back with how much i long for home
but i see how far i’ve come
and then i long for more

now all grown up yet disconnected with my inner child
but willing to give more
the distance i lived with is the same distance i live for
just know when i’m carving out my space
i would give you the whole universe and all of outer space
because there are two kinds of friends in this world
the ones you heard
and the ones you hurt

A. Hymn || 7/19/2016