living in my mind
the only place where moments spin back
now at a stage in my life where my growth could be graphed
but i let go of the past and everything holding me back
i’d usually think about all the sad days someone told me to laugh
i felt things as the pen chose me to act
then i wrote my way out of pain when it probed me to emote
letting prose be the path
every single note allowed the old me to stand
it means nothing to take from those who only give back
so that same hope for me is hope you don’t need a plan
it’s hope we withstand
and hopefully with that
we can hopefully last

i think about all those close to me passing
and i’m reminded love is supposed to be lasting
not the last thing

A. Hymn || 10/3/2016

i’m everywhere i never thought i’d be
unlearning everything that was taught to me
surviving life’s conditions and complications
inner monlogues turn to conversations
the talks with my soul
assure me i’ll never walk in the cold
because on those days
where i feel like i’m approaching my end
i grip harder and take hold of myself
despite the weight of the world
despite the weight of the hurt
i shouldered the press
despite my imperfections molded to flesh
i showed them my best

A. Hymn || 9/22/2016

sometimes i find myself wishing for retribution
then self-doubt turns around
forcing me to think i’ve met delusion
and with all that i’ve been through
i feel like the universe has a standard i can’t live to
taking me from myself, there’s just a presence i can’t give you
taking in tenfold
at times i want to give up
at times i want to make this hand fold
trust me when i say it’s just me
self-made, self-cared, self-loved
i just want someone to take over the wheel
there’s been so much love i’ve steered myself from
i don’t want my love to be seldom
i just want to be welcomed
without making an entrance
yet i see all those that i’ve touched and it’s senseless
i love them all
i don’t need the attention
i just don’t want this need to be endless

A. Hymn || a prayer