late at night, tallying up the score
trying to understand life
trying to understand what love is for
thinking of all the people i’ve missed
all the feelings i should deplore
wondering what good is more?
accepting whatever happens
it’s been only me, so i can only start with love
and i could never have less
when i live and still feel so much

i was caught up in the moment
but no longer too into it
knowing if it doesn’t hold onto me, don’t hold on to it
detach but learn to intuit
and once the pain stops
let the hurt give you movement
then only trust your words if you can prove them
new spaces, new pages
new graces, new ages
letting go gets better each day
because the memories stay
but the feelings that were meant to remain
will gently fade

in the end, blood dries
in the end, love dies
in the end, doves fly

A. Hymn || in the end

when i search for balance
solitude is my fuel
living by self-love, pardon my creed
see i’d rather keep silent than to spar with my speech
closeted thoughts with my heart on my sleeve
but pain is progress, each scar is a seed
forward moving no matter how far i can’t see
resilience is hard to defeat when you’ve felt more
than you’ve ever seen
that’s why i channel everything to being a better me
a stroke of humility, rarely have i petted greed
give all that i can now and worry later about a pedigree
reliable most say they could bet on me
and if they can’t that’s a bet to me
do right then let it be
so when i search for balance
let me go then let me be

A. Hymn || 10/7/2016

living in my mind
the only place where moments spin back
now at a stage in my life where my growth could be graphed
but i let go of the past and everything holding me back
i’d usually think about all the sad days someone told me to laugh
i felt things as the pen chose me to act
then i wrote my way out of pain when it probed me to emote
letting prose be the path
every single note allowed the old me to stand
it means nothing to take from those who only give back
so that same hope for me is hope you don’t need a plan
it’s hope we withstand
and hopefully with that
we can hopefully last

i think about all those close to me passing
and i’m reminded love is supposed to be lasting
not the last thing

A. Hymn || 10/3/2016