i’m everywhere i never thought i’d be
unlearning everything that was taught to me
surviving life’s conditions and complications
inner monlogues turn to conversations
the talks with my soul
assure me i’ll never walk in the cold
because on those days
where i feel like i’m approaching my end
i grip harder and take hold of myself
despite the weight of the world
despite the weight of the hurt
i shouldered the press
despite my imperfections molded to flesh
i showed them my best

A. Hymn || 9/22/2016

empty journal asking: what it is i want for me?
trying not to dodge the question
yet i still find myself wandering
doing all that i can to live honestly
when there’s just so much i want from me
my expectations are high
i don’t want this pass
i just don’t want to spectate from the side
and let the days go on by
i know what i’m supposed to be
so i won’t embrace any lies
accepting praise and support
all the things i wouldn’t dare take before
but now
i’m a new person
with new worth and new burdens
seeing through a new perspective
with a new purpose and new imperfections
and at the same time it’s still me
while the past that brought me hurt
no longer make me guilty

A. Hymn || 9/18/2016