now unveiling feelings that pretend to be
the feelings that can fake
matured to where i’m aware of the energies that can take
more concerned for myself
i have my reservations
setting boundaries to stand by preservation
just to avoid falling victim to love’s precarious seasons
because
love can make you fall for various reasons
that don’t seem apparent in person
love can make you a daring person
love can make you a caring person
love can even make you think you can repair a person
when being there for a person
doesn’t mean everywhere for a person
because being there for yourself
allows you to be anywhere for a person
allows you to be a better pair with a person
as i was once told
love should be fair and full of purpose

A. Hymn || boundaries in love & attachment

i’m everywhere i never thought i’d be
unlearning everything that was taught to me
surviving life’s conditions and complications
inner monlogues turn to conversations
the talks with my soul
assure me i’ll never walk in the cold
because on those days
where i feel like i’m approaching my end
i grip harder and take hold of myself
despite the weight of the world
despite the weight of the hurt
i shouldered the press
despite my imperfections molded to flesh
i showed them my best

A. Hymn || 9/22/2016

empty journal asking: what it is i want for me?
trying not to dodge the question
yet i still find myself wandering
doing all that i can to live honestly
when there’s just so much i want from me
my expectations are high
i don’t want this pass
i just don’t want to spectate from the side
and let the days go on by
i know what i’m supposed to be
so i won’t embrace any lies
accepting praise and support
all the things i wouldn’t dare take before
but now
i’m a new person
with new worth and new burdens
seeing through a new perspective
with a new purpose and new imperfections
and at the same time it’s still me
while the past that brought me hurt
no longer make me guilty

A. Hymn || 9/18/2016

dreams that i’m afraid to live
love that i’m afraid to give
paths that i’m afraid to travel
flaws i’m afraid to battle
newly rid of my older shell
if i know nothing else
at least i know myself
more love, more days
more hope, more pains
that’s what i told myself
currently learning to let go
unlearning the ways i tend to hold myself
holding myself from others that want me
i carry the many things that life taught me
despite their trust
i know i’d want somebody
but
my sights are set on me
nothing left to do but keep going
keep going
even if i can feel the creep slowing
keep going

keep going
keep going

A. Hymn || keep going

sometimes i find myself wishing for retribution
then self-doubt turns around
forcing me to think i’ve met delusion
and with all that i’ve been through
i feel like the universe has a standard i can’t live to
taking me from myself, there’s just a presence i can’t give you
taking in tenfold
at times i want to give up
at times i want to make this hand fold
trust me when i say it’s just me
self-made, self-cared, self-loved
i just want someone to take over the wheel
there’s been so much love i’ve steered myself from
i don’t want my love to be seldom
i just want to be welcomed
without making an entrance
yet i see all those that i’ve touched and it’s senseless
i love them all
i don’t need the attention
i just don’t want this need to be endless

A. Hymn || a prayer