Everyday I send one, frail, faint and weak
To bring love to the beloved I seek
To bring truth to the words I speak
Yet uncontrollable when released from my beak
No tweaks, no peeks, sealed until the time comes
Designed to fulfill dreams, wrapped with hope of the finest
But I must confess, sometimes my gift isn’t the best
With all the times the present wasn’t complete, put it to rest
But I wont, I try and try and try and try
Blood, sweat and tears that I placed into perfection, why?
So that she knows all was done to make it, and see you smile
While, me on the end, waiting, emotions riled
Because this gift was not like the others, its cluttered
With all the words I stuttered and uttered
Again like no other, but I wonder, will u be there to take it
And shake it, anticipate it, and hope for it to be mistaken
As a miracle? So here it goes, I pause…delay, expect and await your reaction
What’s that hun? You hate it? But that’s not fair!
I swear, I cared, prepared for it, but where’s the satisfaction?
Ok, relax some. What did I do wrong with this one?
Its too late…cant you just fake it? Pretend that it’s the greatest?!
Oh, I see, I took too long and it broke on the way here
Stay here, stay clear, return to sender, cant you even keep it for a year?
But hey dear, I ruined it during delivery, I rushed, its my fault
I’m all out of excuses, don’t worry I know the way out…
I never thought I would see something like this
My present was sent amiss, broken – a broken promise
When you make a promise, its a gift you send that may break on the way

A. Hymn, The Fragile Parcel

No one needs to get shot anymore
I’m sick of love, I won’t play God anymore
For every arrow there’s a pair of broken hearts
Dissolving in torment
Sitting here resolving this pointed mistake
Heartbreak — it’s something I knew was inevitable
A feather drops at a lover’s tear
Karma wishes I regret it in full
I’d remove their wounds and pain myself if I could
I wish for better aim
I’ll never feel rested for good
A mess that I brood
I let the lost fall for falsifying faces
One who’d give anything, just to be received
Another who risked everything, just to be deceived
Just let me think, just let me bereave
And I know this isn’t about me
But how can I live proudly
How can I spread love if love ruins others?
What confuses love with hate?
Look at how a dream rubs with fate
Something beautiful is now what once was
But I can’t give up today
Because there’s a few that deserve to meet
Who am I to desert to their needs?
Another half, a partner, a soulmate
Someone out there can see their worthiness
Because that’s where the real hurt is in
I feel permitted to carry my bow
As opposed to hanging it
This next shot isn’t for me
So I can’t be scared of landing it
Any wound and all the pain
Means when they bleed, their passion drips
That means to live
And that to me is accurate

A. Hymn, Cupid’s Guilt III: A God’s Angst

Feel my shame, I take full culpability
Lovers fighting the lovers they’re with
Up to their wits
The degree of a couple’s abilities
One arrow can make one give up intimacy
No one needs to get shot anymore
I’m sick of love, I won’t play God anymore

Now if you asked him
Everyone’s got someone they care about
Everyone’s got someone in life
He can feel loneliness
He can feel what they’re all scared about
That’s how he thought to himself
His potential deep within a loft, on a shelf
A beautiful pearl waiting to be coughed out it’s shell
So many things you’ve been given that I’ve seen you live through
You deserve more than the world could give you
And so she found him lost, as if his world could end
At his lowest, she fell in love with the worst of him
Leading life on an indent, he felt in debt
Vowing to keep your wounds buried and bandaged
With your backs against each other
His unpreparedness to vanish
Lift and lighten your load, carefree, ecstatic
He was there to help you carry the baggage
He was there to help you parry the anguish
A martyr, truly daring with language
Love for him was in every semantic
Experience made him a weary combatant
Wearing compassion but he was still wary attaching
Opening up to him you became very demanding
Like simple ware he was handled
The way you tear him in half
Did you even care he was damaged?
He sees the day you get married, the carriage
But your words hit, and he can barely withstand them
How’s he supposed to get a grip, if she’s fearing detachment
How’s he supposed to benefit, when you’re clearly reacting
Comparing your actions
Yet all he wants to do is just bury the hatchet
No one needs to get shot anymore
I’m sick of love, I won’t play God anymore

A. Hymn, Cupid’s Guilt II: His Pain

Feel my shame, I take full culpability
Lovers fighting the lovers they’re with
Up to their wits
The degree of a couple’s abilities
One arrow can make one give up intimacy
No one needs to get shot anymore
I’m sick of love, I won’t play God anymore

Now if you asked her
She couldn’t tell you what she was hurting for
She couldn’t tell you what she was searching for
She was waiting on something marvelous
She needed healing, not the kind that Marvin sings
Nothing a grown girl shows
See, she’s a sweetheart’s sweet heart
When she walks, she sweeps hard
And the whole world knows
Yet solitude can either make you a lover or just a narcissist
It’s simple if you wonder wherein that margin is
You can have each other’s life, and take part in it
You being her buffer, with her your partisan
Or distant from one another, then see how far it gets
If you feel above her, why let the farce insist?
Because if love burns you’re deemed an arsonist
Then it starts again, blaming her for being cold
When you should’ve covered her with your cardigan
You cut her and then took parts of things
Like clip art, but you weren’t glued to her
Basically taking
Her charm, her wit
Her smarts, her wings
She can’t tell what’s missing or what part it is
Her largest gift is her heart she gives
Realizing things weren’t so hard, but once you part, it is
At the crossroads or the end of the chapter
Thinking like what part is this?
Participant with your hand in her demise
She would overlook just to look in you
But look at you hurt them eyes
And how wrong could she exactly be?
Anything that needs proof, simply lacks belief
The past repeats, after every breakthrough you just break up
Then breakdown just before you make up
Her inner beauty wakes up and you’re forgiven
It’s not a trade but she deserves more for giving
Now if it’s war you’re bringing
No one needs to get shot anymore
I’m sick of love, I won’t play God anymore

A. Hymn, Cupid’s Guilt I: Her Wounds

It’s harder to tell someone you want nothing to do with them
Instead of going ahead and loving the fool in them
Covet the beaut of the onerous grooves, a wondrous cruise
A vibe that makes lovers to glue as friends
Beloved, the two interests, too interested
Connected where the their two wrists end
Tourists into a life with each other, not two inches
Apart at heart, they’re covered, imbued with bliss
But somewhere a feud insists
Fears were read, tears were shed, fuel assists
Last words remembered: “you’re full of it”
A couple becomes two individuals that used to kiss
For nourishment, hopeless now because food isn’t
The few distinct moments are gone
Left to look within: what kind of view is this?
You heard about watching the few desist
Wishing for nostalgia to come to fruition
Foolishness, forget the aches brought living in the past
Dates, thanksgiving, lay there sitting in the bath
Your skin and hips, your taste, the fingers of your grasp
Displaced, I wish this could have last
Hoping that some day, you’ll give in and come back
Tears of pain as rivers do run fast
It’s harder to tell someone you want nothing to do with them
Instead of going ahead and loving the fool in them
I wanted you to see the light in my heart as a prism
Encased, feeling now my heart is imprisoned
Harsh criticisms, friends tell me to move on
And only your voice could compel me to do wrong

It’s harder to tell someone you want nothing to do with them
Instead of going ahead and loving the fool in them

When all you have becomes all you had
Or maybe it’s because I just fall too fast
Your silence speaks volumes and
Then I call you, mad, just to call you mad
I lost the right words when we communed last
Now look what’s come through that
Who’d expect our vicissitude
I always wanted a change
Seems it made my wishes true
Now you aren’t the same
So I hope whoever comes by your way
Doesn’t visit this you
Because…

It’s harder to tell someone you want nothing to do with them
Instead of going ahead and loving the fool in them

A. Hymn, Decathect

I watched the fear in her face deteriorate
Her interior, even her spirits misplaced
With tears from all she hears about her inferior
Frail, figure and frame, feeling defamed
From all the fiendish, the fake
She wants to feel free yet she fails
They feed as she fades
And her reflection just doesn’t seem as clearer today
A cleaner display so maybe she can see how all the fables are stretched
Labeled a Shrek, and even if she turned the tables
She couldn’t claim their respect, now she disables herself
From others, seeming pale in the flesh
Nearly fatal attempts to impaling herself
Yet in all your blindness you were able to bless
The only one who cared, who kept you from falling
When you wept you were balling on his shoulder
Honest, bolder, even stepped to your calling
And cries for a friend, and never hurt you
If ever hurdles, he’d help you climb over them
Til one day she overlooks and bravely thinking just leaves him
Blames him for living with feelings, blatant yet hidden from seeping
Displays of women and features, created a bitter vehement
Dame with little beliefs to be depraved and dimmer in spirit
Feigning an image of healing, craving for inner deletion
Now playing a sinner with secrets, painting a prison to dream in
Aching but wishes to be with someone to fill in voids
But its all a lie in relief, when she convinces herself shes still enjoyed…mirror

A. Hymn, Mirror